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It took me a while to sit back and type my life again. Yes, I’ve had the excuse of “oh I’m busy” but really. I think I was a little lost in why I even write. I mean traditionally there are maybe 2 or 3 people that read this that really care. And I call my boyfriend and my sister often. I speak with my mother and father on some weekends. Why go here? I think I finally realized it…

This is for me…

I’ve really reached a happy part in my life. I can’t wait for the next chapter in my life. Eric and I are happy and are making things work with the large distance between us. I can’t wait until we settle down and pick some snazzy apartment. I swear, I’ll be cleaner.

I understand that I’m gonna graduate and probably never come back to New Paltz (I mean, yeah I’m gonna visit), but I have a feeling that I’ll keep in contact with a lot of people (especially through facebook).

When did I grow up? I saw my graduation picture and I saw someone so much older than I remember. My hair yesterday still looked like I went to my senior year of high school. My hair has gone through the gamut though and I decided to give it one last thing before I graduate, I’m gonna grow it out a little more that I’m used to. Nothing horrendously long, just a little longer. I kinda want to see my hair create a small wave. See if it is really true how my hair had a slight wave when I was a kid.

I forgot how therapeutic blogging is. Eric is there, yes, and he knows everything I said above, but I really do feel like I don’t. I have horrendous self-doubt. I beat myself up on things. I apparently have high standards of myself. Was that parenting? My zodiac combination of Virgo/Tiger? I dunno anymore. But I did grow up similarly to the zodiac thing and the stereotypical nuclear family. I mean yeah, Eric really does wish I used my creative side better (more on that later).

Ideas are racing through my brain on what to say or how to say it. It kinda just stopped right now. So with that, I will sleep, wake up at 7:30, shower and head over to Poughkeepsie.

Much Love,
Paz